Reslari

Rive-verse, now with more Youko... for when she gets apped. NOT IF.

( "She takes on sea monsters in her spare time, Youko. I think she can handle your Soeur." )

Huh. Feels like forever since I-

Oh. Oops.

Anyway, let's have an update shall we? I came in to check up on Plink and Vixen and, now establishing that they haven't been swallowed by the Bermuda Triangle, or become part of the 4400, I can rest easy for a while.

To begin: I have become the one thing I always hated; a WoW player. Not an elitist sort (despite my class - Rogue, go figure), but a player nonetheless. I don't know where the urge to poke the game came from, and I sure as hell don't know where my rabid hatred of level grinding (except in cases of Fucking Awesome Plot as demonstrated by the Final Fantasy and Persona games) ran off to, but I've managed to level 2 characters pretty high up there (one 80, my rogue, and my DK almost at 70), with a third on the way (33, Healadin). Joined a great guild that fucked itself recently and had serious E-Drama issues. Being as I am, that is to say, someone who likes to BS that I'm a callous bitch, but I actually do care, I tried to smooth out things with our former members, and while I could only get into contact with one of them, I think things went well. I know I sure as hell make a better diplomat than our GM, but he's a good guy either way. You just have to know when to keep your head down and your mouth shut and play your damn class. Anyway, i was getting terribly effing bored with the game until 3.2 came out (just the other day) and now I've got something new to do cuz the new dungeon drops epic items off every boss and DAMN my Rogue needed most of it. :B

On to more important Life Stuff: I quit Target.

Those of you who have been following my blog posts and that slow descent into the Bad Kind of Insanity will know how good that is for my health. Well, it's actually terrible for my physical health, but wonderful for my mental health. The depression got HORRIBLE just before the end there, and I wasn't sure what I was going to kill if I had to go there one more day, the management or myself. And it was getting to the point of serious consideration, too.

Probably the management. As I've said before: The older I get the more I realize that it isn't myself I want to kill; it's the rest of the world.

But either way, I've left that place and as far as I know, my mood's stabling out. The depression doesn't hit quite as hard anymore without the catalyst of Work to amplify it, so that's a definite plus. It still wavers a bit but now I don't have the drudgery of That Place to go back to and I think it'll even out into its old, familiar patterns soon enough.

Kind of odd to talk about depression in such a positive light, but hey, I doubt I'll ever get rid of it completely. Now it's just gonna be so much easier to deal with.

Now don't cheer for me everyone; Juya and Plink are the ones that deserve all the praise. Plink for her support (well, what you did for the I Was Going To Kill Something aspect, I know you said stick with it, but you know as well as I do that wasn't going to last that long) and Juya for being a wonderful pillar of sanity at the worst of times... and even the not-so-worst of times. I know Juya won't see this (she already knows anyway) but thank you Plink. Now get back on AIM more woman!

Uhh... other news. Lance has his new Zoids RP site up. It's not MMM, but it's MMM enough and it didn't draw all the drama queens from CAZ, so I'll dink around there fore a while I bet. It's nice seeing all the old names on the board, and it's almost the same color scheme as the old Elephander scheme on MMM, so I'm mostly content. That and with how unexplored the world is, there's so much potential for adding and adding like a SIMS game. That and they're letting pilots help with Zoid bios. Even original Zoid bios. And parts. And pretty much everything; granted, it's all Subject To Approval, but the amount of Community Input is a definite plus. Let people shape the world how they want to play it, from the ground up. Always my favorite type of RP medium - start with a clean slate and build your way up.

Anyway I think that's it for a while -

Oh. One more thing.

FUCK YOU TSUBASA AND YOUR FUCKING TIME-WANKING. SOMEONE'S CLONE SHOULD NOT BE THEIR OWN FATHER.

Though we did call it that Asschin was trying to resurrect Yuuko. I do believe he's failed Epicly. And the Clones and the Reals and Fai and Kurogane are going to seriously rip him like 15 new time-bound assholes.

But still.

FUCK YOU CLAMP. DIE IN A FIRE.

I'm going to do this because every time I play these 'put your MP3 player on shuffle and write down the titles of the songs as the answers to the questions' things, Lucy (my mp3 player) plays along beautifully. She knows, usually, just what to say.

IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
“Subject Name Here”
Portal OST
Subject Name Here, it may or may not be okay.

WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
“Morning Moon”
Yuki Kajiura from the Tsubasa RC OST
I am sweet and mellow, kind of like hand lotion?

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
... “Vegnagun Starting”
Whoever Did The FFX-2 OST
... I like someone who can play sexy organ? Uhm... megalomaniacs who want to destroy the whole world to be the one they love?

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
“Fortunate Sleep - No One Disturb Her Dead”
Akira Yamaoka, Silent Hill 2 OST
... God, even my playlist thinks I’m destined for an early grave. Rofl.

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
“Holy Diver”
Dio
Uh. Snerk. My motto is a song about Satan.

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
“Ich Will”
Rammstein
I want... something? THEY WANT ME!? Ew.

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
“Far”
Akira Yamaoka, Silent Hill OST
Uh. I think of far away places that Aren’t Colorado?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
“E Nomine”
E Nomine
... uh. I think they’re Pontius Pilatus? In the name of...?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
"Smooth"
Santana featuring Rob Thomas
And if you said this life ain’t good enough I would give my world to lift you up, I could change my life to better soothe your mood~

Cackle

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
“You’re Not a Good Person”
Portal OST
Yes. This.

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
"Older"
They Might Be Giants
... Ahaha. Bahaha. I am having a hard time typing. This is quite adequately hilarious. I want to be older when I grow up! ILU, Lucy.

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
"Null Moon”
Akira Yamaoka Silent Hill 2 OST (again)
... Truefax. I don’t actually ever see her. But moon is a good word for it.

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
"Scherzo Di Notte”
Kingdom Hearts OST
Uhhh. Not sure what to say here.

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
"Love Hurts”
BoA
Truly, given that the Ghey Marriage will probably never be legal here. Besides, I ain’t getting married ever, since I don’t plan on being in love. So I guess the song wins.

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
"Aerith’s Theme"
FFVII OST
... And every video game fan to ever live will weep big, girly BITCH TEARS. Fuck yes, my funeral song will be Aerith’s death song!

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
"Call Me When You’re Sober"
Evanescence
Crank calling while drunk? XD

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
"One Night Stand”
Gunther
... Thank you, Gunther. My biggest secret is... I fuck and run? O.o uhhh. Sure.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
"Down Time"
... The Silent Hill OST again.
Sure, they are a source of downtime.

WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
"Living In the Sunlight, Loving in the Moonlight"
Tiny Tim
There is nothing to say. No, really. No. Words.

HOW WILL YOU DIE?
"Serpent Strait"
John Debney, Lair OST
XD Eaten by a big snake? Drowning at sea? Something like that, I guess.

WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
"Lost"
Same Person As Before
Not being able to find direction in my life? Ha, I guess it’s valid.

Also, whoever the chickie-poo is who sings the Lair songs is my hero. Her voice is so pretty.

WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
"Everything You Want"
Vertical Horizon
People getting rejected for being absolutely perfect for the person they’re after. ‘Just friends’ and all.

Yes, it DOES in fact make me piss myself laughing. Schadenfreude and all.

WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
"When All Hope Has Faded OC Remix"
Zircon, from the Chrono Trigger soundtrack
“Without hope, man would drown in his despair.”

Rock on, Yunalesca.

WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
"Enduring Bonds"
Persona 3 OST
... I’ll take that as a ‘yes’?

WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
"Der Prophet"
E Nomine
The end of the world, I guess? *looks at Reslari - the demon, you cads*

DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
"Die Schwarzen Reiter"
E Nomine (again)
The Black Riders... the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse! LAUF UM DEINE LEBEN! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!

It so fits.

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
"I’ll Kill You"
Silent Hill 1 OST again
... x3 Lookat that title. LOOK AT IT. IS IT NOT PERFECTION INCARNATE?

I love this song.

WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
"Pain”
Three Days Grace
... Um. Yes. Pain hurts right now. XD I love you, Lucy. (Lucy is my MP3 player, for those not paying attention)

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
"Atatakana Hikaru"
Kubota Nami, Kannazuki no Miko OST
Warm light something? El oh el. Kay.

Massive spoilers, just so you know.

Well.

It's over.

Before I go into criticism/thoughtblah, bear this in mind: Metal Gear Solid 4 has reaffirmed my faith that Next-Gen games will be pwnsome. I thought GTAIV would be my saving grace, but the srsbsns storyline and frustrating Everything Drives Like A Boat car physics killed my hope on that.

Metal Gear Solid 4 is as epic win as the last games. For seriously.

Now, time for my thoughts to go wander.



.... Now, if you'll excuse me, I violently want to go play MGS1 and 3. D:

My god. I have all the energy to stare at the wall.

I know I should've seen this coming - I mean, you sign a contract at the beginning of the game that says you'll take responsibility for your actions. "I chooseth this fate of mine own free will" is what it literally says in-game, and that should've been the first giveaway. Not to mention the emulating suicide to protect people, the fact he was possessed by the Shadow of Death, or even the fact his major Personae go Orpheus -> Thanatos -> Messiah. That though Takaya looked like Jesus, the MC was the real Jesus figure.

He died to save the world. He used the Persona, the ONLY ONE of the World Arcana, and sacrificed his own soul to save the world from Nyx's descent.

He survived for a whole month afterwards just to fulfill a promise to his friends that they would meet again, even though they had forgotten. And then they remembered, they all gathered on the roof of the school just in time to watch him fade away - the second of their team to die. Happy fucking graduation day.

God damn.

I promised myself I'd never get attached to another character so closely again after that whole Aeris incident. But I didn't have a choice with this one - you MAKE this character what he is at the end.

Congrats, Atlus. You just won the award for Biggest Fucking Sadists Of The Year - snatching it right from CLAMP's deadly grasp.

I need to go stare at the wall some more.

It's strange. The Tsubasa fandom is exactly opposite of the Kingdom Hearts fandom. In the KH fandom, when I didn't leave a little subtle hint in the author's notes that told everyone they should review (well, more like I told them I loved it when they reviewed), the chapter got less reviews. But it's the other way around in the Tsubasa fandom- I've been telling people how much I like to hear their opinions for the last three chapters, and no one's reviewed, but this time I left out the author's not entirely and got 3 reviews.

Fascinating. I shall continue observation of this new fandom and its little nuances. :D This promises to be entertaining.

So. My muse.

It's a filthy, dirty, cocksucking, assmunching whore.

I finished A Calamity of Fools today- completely done, 22 chapters, ended it in the ANGST that Syaoran may still be in love with the Princess though he's living with the Card Captor.

And so my muse... guess what it did.

If you guessed it said "HAY! GUESS WHUT! WHAT IF SYAORAN GAVE IN DURING THEIR TRAVELS AND APPROACHED THE PRINCESS? GOD KNOWS SHE WOULDN'T TRY TO CHASE HIM OFF. WHAT IF THEY ENDED UP TOGETHER AT THE END? WHAT WOULD NEED TO CHANGE? WHAT WOULD CHANGE?!" You'd be right.

Dirty.

Filthy.

WHORE.

So, during my whole NaNo thing, I successfully did several things! I watched the entire 70-episode run of Card Captor Sakura (something I needed to do for several key plot points in my NaNo story...) and recently, started and finished xxxHOLiC, to make sure I wasn't going to kill the OTHER canon of Tsubasa with some of the gestalting I was doing.

So.

Here's where the Plot Bunnies came marching one by one... hurrah. << Hurrah.



... yep.

I love it when writing inspiration comes back to me.

Also: I hate my friend Jamie for ADDICTING ME TO TSUBASA. DIE!!

Ok muses! You can come back any time you want to, yanno! Really! In fact, visit really soon! I forgot where I was going with that story because my trip to Chicago sort of interrupted writing a chapter and NOW I HAVE NOTHING TO WRITE BECAUSE I SEEM TO HAVE FORGOTTEN WHAT IT IS I WAS WRITING AND THE MUSES ARE NOT AROUND TO HELP AT ALL.

Please? Pretty please with sugar and cherries and probably blood and chocolate on top?

AHAHHAHA...

Judge judge judge judge judge.... <3

My friend went and saw it... and I'm so jealous. I've wanted to see it forever.... ><

So I bought the book. And have the soundtrack... and maybe that'll suffice slightly. >>

... what is it with cults and survival/horror games?

The Cult of Samael from Silent Hill. The Los Illuminados (heh, original name) from Resident Evil 4. And then, though it's not really a cult, all the somewhat arcane Shinto rituals involving brutal ritual sacrifice from the Fatal Frame games.

Speaking of Fatal Frame. D: I really, really, really want to play 2 again.

I shall now type like Ultimecia.

Anyway. D: People! Stop making me think before I go to bed!

It ruins my sleep cykle.

Too bad there's only one c to change to k in this whole thing D: I'll do  better next time.

I finished Between the Silences. ^^

Only took me four months!!

I feel happy. And smirking all at once because it ended all dark. xp

... I hate my pseudo-bipolarism. I say pseudo because I'm not sure that's what it is, but I know it's not a normal state of being. It's some form of depression though, I can tell you that much. Whatever the case, it bit me full-on on the ass today, and now I feel horrible. >< Rawr.

... am I really that agreeable? Or are the people of the world out there that agreeable? There are people on MMM that (at least I think they do) like me for absolutely no apparant reason. By no apparant, I mean I almost never talk to them, etc, and yet they still seem to like me. Plink, Drake, Billy, Tilly.

.... is it me? Is it them? Or am I missing something? o.O


On a side note: Marluxia's final boss battle theme rocks my socks off.

... I swear. All of my muses except the characters from MMM have been out on some three week long bender. They were all asleep when I went into art today. They're never ALL asleep! DX So I sat for an hour and a half and did positively nothing and talked about how I did absolutely nothing.

T_T I need you guys. Especially you, Nobodies. I need to finish this story. plz?


As a side note, I got accepted to the University of Colorado at Denver. I will be studying 3-D arts and digital animation. I'm not particularly surprised I got in, but I'm happy nonetheless.